Upon opening the field's most prestigious journal, one finds little that looks capable of healing and much that promises the opposite: an article titled "On the Supposed Inconceivability of Absent Qualia Functional Duplicates"; another that defends the "applicability of Bayesian confirmation theory to the Everett interpretation of quantum mechanics." Epicurus, by contrast, taught his followers how to eliminate anxiety and irrational desires in order to lead a life of happiness.
Critiques of philosophy's obscurity, though as old as Epicurus, have become especially pitched of late. So much so, in fact, that the University of Liverpool offers a degree not only in "philosophy" but also in "philosophy as a way of life." Students will presumably not spend their time investigating "absent qualia functional duplicates" but, like Socrates, studying how best to care for the soul.
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Our Debt to the Greeks
Epicurus reflected rather self-righteously that "vain is the word of that philosopher which does not heal any suffering of man." Brendan Boyle points out that by that measure, contemporary philosophy seems pretty vain: